Thursday, December 13, 2007

Goodbye My ……….. (Part Two)

Oops, I did it again. Yeah, this time around is my so-called sister. She is a good sister and good friend of mine. We got along well since we know each other’s last year. I even gave her a big surprise birthday party that I hope she will remember for the entire of her life. I like her at the first place and try to capture her heart, but at the end of the days it turns out to be more like brother-sister relationship and I’m okay with that actually. But good things always don’t last long, or at least for me.

What really happen? Nothing actually. It all started when I knew she fell for one guy. As she is only my sister, I care less about their relationship. It is her right to love and to be love. I have no complaint about it. But I was really sad to learn that she rarely reply my message. And starting from there, I was thinking a lot. I feel that I was unwanted; my caring ness toward her was unappreciated and so on and so forth. Maybe I’m phobia on this issue. When I wrote a text message, it is full with love (eoww!), hope and care. And when I don’t receive it back, I feel aggrieved and disappointed. Maybe I was thinking too much, but this is me. I can’t help to think how the other parties are interpreting my action. And with that, I start to think that maybe I’m annoying, unwanted.

So I did it again, I pull out, quit, back off from her life. I must stop to care about her and get on with my life. Why must I care and concern about someone who doesn’t care about me. It’s not worth it for me to think how she is doing if she never thinks how am I doing. Am I pathetic? Psycho? Maybe, she is just my so-called sister and I shouldn’t take it seriously. Maybe, but once again, this is me and I’m doing things on my way. This is my way of dealing it if I see things don’t go according to plan. I hope by doing this, I don’t need to think about her and she can get rid of this annoying big b*****d. Maybe she is happy by now.

To her, I seriously regret on how things are going on with us. But this will be the best way out for us. I’m so sorry because I always came to you at the wrong place and at the wrong time. There is the reason behind every action you take, and honestly I don’t have crystal ball to know what it was, because you never tell me. You have every right to hate me; I’m hateable. I’m not the best guy in the world, so maybe I have done something completely wrong to you. I’m so sorry for interrupting your life and demanding something that I never deserved. Our relationship only last for about 6 months, but I realize that you are a nice girl and you deserve somebody special. He is a good guy, takes good care of him and may you live happily ever after. Don’t worry about me (if you ever) because I will be fine. This is part and parcel of my messy life. I’m getting tired of it.

Please leave your comment; I need to hear from anybody who cares. I need to hear from different point of views because I know something that I feel right to do for me is consider wrong for others. Thanks for reading and writing for this and my entire past posting. Thank you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i care..
please write more

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