Don’t Look Back In Anger

Don’t Look Back In Anger – 2009 in Review

So here we are, on the last day of colourful 2009. Another year past by, another one is looming and we are hoping for nothing but good fortunes. In 2009, the great MJ pass away, Lance Armstrong made a come back, Malaysia football team won a gold medal (at last), Liverpool emerge as a title contender and sink deeper within months, Kris Allen is the 8^th winner of American Idol (which I can confirm you that in 2050 if I wrote this kind of entry again I will mention the winner of American Idol 49), Fahrin Ahmad dumped (again), government decided to phase PPSMI by 2012, Malaysian is so hook up with the word ONE (ONE  Malaysia, ONE Food, ONE  Bazaar, ONE  Toilet etc.) and many eventful events that will take me years to jot down every single things that happen in 2009. So let’s scale it down and see what happens to me instead, shall we?

This year started with a bang (so cliché). There’s a monkey on my back calls responsibility, to serve people, to sacrifice everything for the good of others, and yeah to tell you the truth, I do enjoy my time with all the responsibility. It’s hard to juggle between study and extra curricular activities that take a lot of time, money and passion but I survived, I think. Love life? Started with so much hope but like always, hit stonewall in the process. Dead end. We broke up in February. I was in the period where everything turns upside down for me. Where should I start? My car broke down and I forked out my own pocket money, RM 1.5k to repair it, even though it wasn’t me who drove it and it happens during orientation week for new student and I gave my car for people to use, HEP refuses to pay. I was hit with a strong fever for two weeks and it turns out to be a dengue fever and admitted to hospital for 5 days. It was the same time I had a big problem with her and eventually we broke up shortly after that. I was carrying the pain and the only thing I really crave for is her to be by my side, and sadly, she wasn’t there. (Click here for details)

After all the negativities, I finally can get over the bad patch and moving on. I started to go out with girls again, have some fun, flirting around and etc etc. Hehe. I lay my eyes on a new girl, pursuing her with unmatched efforts but still to no avail. Haha. Unlucky in love, that is me. But still I cherished my life though; in pursuit of happiness I’ll do anything, anything. And suddenly I found my purple patch. I went to Bali, had a little sightseeing, then I was chosen to represent UUM to a homestay programme and youth forum in conjunction of Conference of Commonwealth Education Minister (CCEM 17^th) in Melaka and Kuala Lumpur. I was not chosen at first but after some withdrawals, I sneak in and seriously, it was the best thing that happens to me this year. It was an international event, Commonwealth level and I’m not only representing UUM but also Malaysia. I meet lots of new friends, gathers new found knowledge, built up my confidence to a new level and so much more. And to put the icing on the cake, later that month I found that my exam result is out and I got the all time high score, and I’m on the dean’s list (Click for more details). For the first time ever and seriously I think that will be the last. Haha. You can punch me if I got another. So all I can think of is, ALLAH only tests us as far as we can take, ALLAH will never let us carry something that we won’t be able to handle. In BM, ALLAH tidak akan sekali-kali menduga hamba-Nya lebih dari yang mampu ditanggung.

After 360 days (nearly a full year) of serving the people and university, do all the unpaid duty, we were released from the duty on 10 October 2009. I was relieved; the monkey that I carried throughout the years is gone. No more waking up early to go to HEP or other offices, no more staying up late to attend countless meeting, no more skipping classes for events, no more. But that means, no more happy trips, no more glamorous banquets, no more conferences, no more rubbing shoulders with Datuks and Tan Sris, no more front row seats, no more first-class treatments all the way, no more. (Eh, it seems that the good things are more than the not-so good things that I’m waving goodbye now, aha). But it is the period to remember, where I never had that before and hopefully won’t stop here, InsyaAllah. I do had a post-MPP jitters where suddenly my discipline is up for question. I skip classes a lot after relinquishing the post, I don’t know why but heck; I should not let it happen again. I did my examination without proper preparation and the result is as expected, drop a bit but still in average, average me. Hehe. And then it comes to the longest holiday I ever had as long as I can remember. It is a usual holiday but this holiday seems so awfully long. I’m home for one whole month, broke and had nothing to spend so I shy away from the civilization and keep myself in my home for entire holiday. The result? Taraa, big, inflated and even rounder Udin. Hehe. No worry though, I learn enough from ‘The Biggest Loser’ and I will put the knowledge to practice, I wish.

So that’s it. My colourful year in my colour blind eyes’ point of view. What I cherished the most this year is I found a true friend which I can share problems and thoughts and comfortable to spend time together. And another thing is I might find my wifey-to-be, if not the person itself but maybe the personality . So let us see what 2010 have in store for us. Till we meet again.

RED Is The Colour

Eventhough I'm a colour-blind, but for some it is an open secret that my favourite colour is RED. At one point in my life (spanning over whopping 2 years) I only buy red apparels, nothing but RED. Pathetic, I know. So when I know about the campaign, I'm interested to know more and how we can help. It is call (PRODUCT) RED (click here), a project which is a brainchild of U2's Bono and his friend. It is aim to help to raise money for the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. Simply put, to help our brothers and sisters who are suffering from those diseases, mostly in Africa so they can have a better life. How they work? Simply by getting world's renowned brand to create and sell their special edition products in the name of (PRODUCT) RED. Then some/most/all the profits will go straight to the fund. For example, if you buy an iPod Nano (PRODUCT) RED, which cost the same as usual iPod Nano, the money generated from the sale will contribute to the fund and it will helps billion of people who are in dire need of help. So visit the website to know more okay. Actually, that's my contribution so far because I have not buy any (PRODUCT) RED yet, maybe in the future if I stumble into it.

So, December 1st has past 2 days ago, maybe some of us know and maybe some of us don't realize that 1st December every year is declared as World AIDS Day, and being celebrated around the world. The (PRODUCT) RED I mentioned above also one of the project that is significant to the World AIDS Day. Today as I read The Star newspaper I realized that we take HIV/AIDS for granted. We know how deadly the disease is yet we have not taken any measure to curb it, as we can't do anything about it. Some shocking fact from The Star, from the research conducted by Bayer Schering Pharma in conjunction of World Contraception Day. Research done in Malaysia sampling 200 respondents aged 18-21.

• One third of Malaysian aged 18-21 have already had sex.
• One third of 200 respondents have had sex before the age 21.
• 30% did not talk about contraception before sex.
• 30% did talk but with certain difficulty.
• 50% of the girls have already had sex without contraception

You can check the actual article here.

So now, based on that I can assume we (teenagers/young adults) have indulged in a lot of pre-marital and unsafe sex, which is against our culture and religious. I have friends, which openly confess their involvement in such activities. I know it is now common among us now, no matter you are Malay, Chinese or Indians. Okay, it is clearly against our religion and culture, but please, if you are actively involve, please consider to limit the damage by practising safe sex. Wear protection, such as wearing helmet while riding a motorcycle. If you subsequently 'slipped', your head is protected for more serious injury, you got what I mean. So here I'm not promoting free sex or pre-marital sex, I'm opposed it because it is against my religion. But if you happen to happen to practice it, make sure it is safe. If you feel buying condom in 7 Eleven is embarrasing or no vending machine selling condom in Sintok, you can always buy those stuff online and it will deliver to your doorstep. Nice idea? Okay don't ask me which website offers such services. Hehe

And another thing, if you are actively involve in the games without using contraception, please brave yourself and surrender yourself to the nearest clinic that offer confidential AIDS test. Some of the clinics even have pre and post test counselling to make sure you are in the good shape before and after getting your result. So what is the need to go through this nerve wrecking test? Well, as i said before, if you have indulged in such activities that put yourself vulnarable to AIDS, this test will determine where you stand. HIV positive or negative. If you are negative, good for you, stay that way and spread the awareness to others. You can say to girlfriend/boyfriend, 'Hey! I'm HIV negative and I'm raring to marry you' for example. On the other hand, if you found yourself HIV positive which means you are carrying the disease, please bear in mind that it is good you know it earlier and not spreading it to others. There's treatment for the disease, they haven't find the cure yet but the treatment can slow the disease. If you have contracted the disease, please make sure you control yourself by not spreading it to others. That's the reason why the test is important.

Again, I'm stressing here that I'm not promoting pre-marital sex. I just feel like sharing it to you all because we Malaysian always feel 'this' and 'that' topic is taboo and so sensitive that we prohibited everybody to talk about it and what happen? the problem get worse. So take my advice, say no to pre-marital sex because it may lead you to suffer from HIV/AIDS and it is irreversible. Think before you do anything okay. An hour of happiness and joyful can drive to years and never ending sorrow. And if you wanted to do that badly, please use protection, at least you do your part to limit the numbers contracted with HIV/AIDS every year.

I'm thinking of getting 'Purity Ring' like The Jonas Brothers, haha. C'mon, I ain't no saint.

Thanks for reading, do your part in creating awareness about HIV/AIDS, leave your comment please.

Image from  http://www.coconino.az.gov/accesshealth.aspx?id=9160

Been Missing For Awhile...

HOLIDAY

 

-

VERY SLOW INTERNET CONNECTION

RARELY ONLINE

-

 

DAMN BORED

-

 

MISSING...

*THE ONE I SPENT SO MANY EVENINGS TOGETHER

*MY ONLINE FRIENDS, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

*FORMER LOVER, NOT THE PERSON BUT THE LOVE

*SOMETHING, DON'T KNOW WHO OR WHAT

*MY BUSY-NESS

-

HOPES

*GOT SOMETHINGS TO DO

*MORE MONEY TO SPEND

*NEW SEMESTER TO START REAL SOON

*SOMEBODY TO SAVE ME 

 

entry ape neh?? 

 

I Wanna Watch This!

Well, well, well. I have 9 days gap for my next paper so what I do everyday is spending my time in front of my PC, playing games, listening to songs and craving for good movies. I watched 'The Ugly Truth' the other night and it is hillarious!

But the truth is, I miss watching movie at the cinema, good cinema. I miss GSC Queensbay Mall and all I can get here is Jitra Mall Cinema, which is kinda okay (better than nothing). I think I'm craving for horror movies right now, and to watch it in cinema should be good, it will drain the blood out of me. Anyway, what in cinema right now that I wanted to watch is 'Phobia II', a Thai horror movie which I watched the first installment and I shall say it's kinda good. I think I might have the chance to catch it in cinema, but I need someone to accompany me of course!, girls, no less than that.

This movie is something that I really wanted to watch actually. Is there any chance we can watch it in Malaysian cinema? Let's hope it will grace our shore sooner or later, until then, enjoy the trailer first.

Anyone want to accompany me to the cinema?? :-P

Study Season Is On!

Yay! I might be quite late but still wanna wish my friends out there good luck for your final examination. Some of us have already started their exam while some of us still waiting for the glorious date to come. I have a supposedly one free week to study (our study break has been taken to replace the H1N1 emergency break, but the lecturers are smart enough to end the 14 weeks of class a bit earlier, kudos to my lecturers) but I have make myself busy with an event, which we agree to announce it and promise to ourself that it will be our last project. So while I was busy running the project, my fellow friends has started their study earlier and I feel ashamed I only managed to properly start studying on Friday, which is 3 days shy of my first paper. But worry not, nothing to be concerned with, I will try to catch up and look awesomely confident to sit for the papers.Hehe

In case you are wondering, that is a snapshot of how my first official study session went on. We went to a nice place to study, ordered 2 ice coffees (which turn out to be 4), french-fries (double as well), one chicken nugget and one prawn noodle (if I'm not mistaken). So we spent almost four hours there, while she completed almost 10 mind map but I only managed to finish reading 2 articles which is a long way to cover the topics I supposed to finish. But still, I am happy with the session and hope we did it earlier. Way to fun and joyful (albeit it cost us some money, a lot of actually) with the music and environment that can't match my room. Hehe

So good luck for your exam ya, may you excel in your exam. I am pretty sure if you are lost in the exam, once you remember my smile, it will remind you of what you have studied. Ish, tahyul neh. Hehe.

And for my other friends, especially you Shikin and Zyra, may you all pass with flying colors and please pray this examination period will end soon so we can enjoy like before.

Take care and good luck!

Who Is She Eh??

From Left:

Lin, Dayah, Fath, Munirah (Slightly In Front), Nisa, Awal (Me), Putri, Unknown Entity (Suddenly Jumping Into The Picture)

 

From Left:

Unknown Entity (About To Attend Lecture I Think), Munirah, Chi Chung (MPP UPM), Putriana, Awal (Me)

I have collected many pictures from various sources for our grand dinner (MPP 08/09)to make a video presentation. I Stumbled across these pictures and I was wondering who she is. In the first picture she suddenly jump into the picture and pose together with us as she is part of our MPP, which is definitely not. In the second picture we took picture with Chi Chung which is  from UPM but she appears to be on her way to lecture yet manage to strike a pose in our pic.

So if you know who she is, know her whereabouts, please do let me know because she is still at large and might be dangerous to the crowd as evidence in these two photos. Hehe

TO ASHIKIN: Don't get angry with me okay. It is for fun with no intention to cause distress or tension. Purely joking. The truth is this picture make me smile. This is a proof  I know you before we met in Genting and we are meant to be friend. You caught my attention when I overheard that you watched a Man Utd match. I was thinking "COOL". Hehe. Thank for being my friend, Nurul Ashikin Bt Selamat.

The Tale Of U-Turns

Familiar with this road sign? We often encounter it in the middle of congested town. Where people take the u-turn to return to the previous road or take the road that is not accessible before. But we often use it for the first purpose, right?

For some people in some circumstances, there is no way they will take that route again. Why? Because they have been there before, they have faced the problems lies with the route taken, they know well the good and the bad. They have stayed there longer than they should hoping that the bad will one turn good, but it never materialized. There is no turning back. What lies ahead is far more greater and wonderful, so why need to take that torny road again? Some would say. I hope my words goes well with you my friend, zyra. Sorry to dig up this old story but I think it will make a good story. Hehe.

Yeah, in this world, this type of u-turn does also exist. Sometime can and sometime can't, depend on your situation, the circumstances I can say. If you are driving heavy vehicle, you are not allowed to turn but if you only drive a car or a motorcycle, it won't be a problem to make turn. So in life, we often face this kind of situation also. Maybe at first we don't think we will take or will have to take that route again, because of the situation we are in. But after the situation change, we might consider taking that route again, we might be appealed by the chance presented to us, but then again, we have to think carefully, what vehicle we are driving right now. Whether it permits us to take that turn or not.

This is basically what I'm dealing with right now. Hehe. 

 

And the last one, the most look after sign in the road I shall say because we tend to miss the turn earlier on and will look for another juncture to turn back. Or we regret leaving that route and want to make a swift return and hope the route that we leave is still in the good condition and will welcome us. Or we take the turn because the route seems better than what lies ahead or what we have been through. There is no problem to take that turn dear. U-turn is design to cater some purposes, and it seems more positive than negative.And it seems to suit you well now, and we are 100% behind you. Don't afraid, no matter what happen, you always have something to fall back into, and we promise you we will never let you down, always there. So for Shikin, this entry is for you. Hehe.

So, that's all. I have been thinking about putting this down since Aidilfitri, now only have the chance and resource to write it down. For my 2 friends (Zyra and Shikin), I put the story of you two just to make this entry more dramatic (I'm a drama queen, remember?). Do let me know if this entry doesn't go well with you ok.

So long, and goodbye.

(Zillion of thanks to my roommate cum photographer, Mr. Fikri. Hopefully the pictures won't offend anybody or make people sleepless at night)

The Rarest Piece Of Paper I Ever Have

RARE!!

P/S: The rare one is not the award. It is not rare, After all, half of my cohort got this for fun every semester. We even have 2 friends who got 4 flat without losing their hair studying. The rare part is me that finallly got this. Once in a lifetime maybe. And I'm not boasting, just merely sharing with friends who care.

EKUUM Oh! EKUUM

Starting from 30TH September 2009 until 5TH October 2009, I have make myself busy by joining this activity. Basically being held twice a year, this expo is being held in conjunction with the convocation. Last semester I was in Activities Bureau and this year I go down the ladder a bit by being in the Sports & Recreation Bureau, under Activities Bureau. But it doesn't mean I have less work, because this time around I handle a sport event, which is 'Kejohanan Golf IPT UUM'. Yes, a golf tournament by a person who has yet to swing the golf iron. Hehe. Anyhow, I think we have managed to successfully organized it and I have the bragging right to tell everybody that Tan Sri VC attend and participate in my event, not so many people have reach that level. Hehe

So tonight is the night. The last night of EKUUM 22 2nd session and also the night where we (MPPUUM 08/09) will be in charge in our last big event. There will be lots of memories tattoed in my heart and my mind for the past 12 months with this group of people. I have gained a lot (experience, friends, weight!) by involving in MPP and I think this is the best thing ever happen to me so far.

So make sure you make yourself present tonight. It will be a night to be remember. Don't miss out and enjoy the night! I'm sure I will. Hehe

Hopefully You Are Not Celebrating Alone :P

Hello and hi to everybody. What a weird looking picture I put up there. After a closer look I think you finally can read the scribble up there. It is a snapshot from my planner, and yeah, that's my ugly handwriting. So yesterday (26 September 2009) I celebrated my 22nd birthday. The one I wrote up there was after I was no longer in a relationship and was a bit afraid of being alone. So how was my birthday? I don't know what to expect, or I might say I was not expecting anything. Hehe

So here goes the list.....

Udin 22^nd Birthday Wishers

25 September 2009

Ila                                   – 23:59:09

26 September 2009

Shahida                        – 00:13:56 [FB]

Jinaan                           – 00:17:28

Nadiah Mansor            – 00:21:38 [FB]

Dalwin                            - 00:28:22     

Pradeep                         - 00:31:06 [FB]

Puvi                                - 00:32:14

Ashikin (Busok)            - 00:42:16 [FB]

Zyra (Ratu dinding)      – 01:04:36 [YM]

K.A                                 - 01:15:14

MPP Lin                        - 01:25:14

MPP Jihad                    - 01:26:53

MPP Munirah                - 01:27:11

MPP Khalis                   - 01:27:19

MPP Nana                    - 01:28:42

MPP Ecah                    - 02:06:34

YDP MPP Din              - 02:28:20

MPP Nisa                     - 03:02:10

Intan Najihah                 - 03:36:22

Zulhylmie                       - 03:37:08 [FB]

Elifnaz Kayhan              - 06:55:22 [FB]

Aizuddin                        - 09:15:45 [FB]

Nadiah (AD)                 - 09:45:36 [FB]

Sya                               - 10:00:41 & [FB]

MPP Hasnah               - 10:18:01

K Sabah                       - 10:39:55

MPP Wawa                  - 11:42:14

Laily                               - 12:25:44 [FB]

Lala                               - 13:04:22 [FB]

MPP Wai Yan               - 13:12:44 [FB]

Syafiqah                        - 13:23:22 [FB]

Nur Izzah                        - 14:02:32 [FB]

Azila                               - 15:45:08 [FB]

Amar Ghassani             - 15:48:22 [FB]

MPP Rai                        - 15:53:49 [Phone Call]

Noor Ain                         - 16:22:59 [FB]

Fuad                               - 17:26:17 [FB]

D’Rick                            - 17:59:26 [FB]

Kanya Nadra                 - 18:30:28 [FB]

Anem                              - 19:16:48

Yuli                                  - 19:35:44 [Phone Call]

MPP Hidayah                - 20:13:48

Nurliana                          - 20:15:56 [FB]

Juanna                            - 20:22:38 [FB]

Nik Ezzati                       - 20:34:29 [FB]

Elma Ballette                 - 22:56:09 [FB]

MPP Putri                      - 23:04:55 [FB]

Hidayah                         - 23:06:06 [FB]

Amalia                           - 23:41:46 [FB]

Ulyani                             - 23:53: 32 [Phone Call]

27 September 2009

Err                                  - 00:13:11

Aslam                            - 02:07:52 [FB]

Shah                             - 02:21:33 [FB]

MPP Salam         - 10:25:33

Face to Face

Fikri

Chip

Topek

Bob

Wani

Siti

A’an

Ainul

Fath

Japp

Other members of Cohort 4

 

and the rest that I might forget, thanks guys.

Pathetic right? Hehe. But this is the sign of appreciation deep from my heart to all of you that remember my birthday and care to wish me. I don't mind who come first as long as you are honest. Thank to all of you.

And I don't think I'm alone right on this birthday? Hehe. Good bye, take care.

Swing Swing

 

Swing Swing. We love to swing. The feelings, the joy, the excitement, everything.

Swing Swing. We love the swing. we choose to swing the swing because we wanted to be happy, to feel the breeze, to enjoy the moment, to be exhilarated and so on and so forth.

Swing Swing. We swing slowly, getting momentum, slowly picking up the pace and in no time we are already half flying, above the ground swinging back and forth, letting our mind off the hook, just enjoying the moment of greatness, however, it might be temporary.

Swing Swing. When we are above the ground for a while, we might get tired, we get bored of swinging, we might started to get dizzy. The excitement is now gone, the exhilaration dissappear, the happiness is slowly fading away.

Swing Swing. The pace is getting slower. The swing loss the momentum, we are nearer to the ground once again. And finally we stop, both feet on the ground. Everything is gone...

Swing Swing. We get up, walking away without looking back at the swing. Will I be back later? Will I enjoy the swing of this swing later like I enjoyed just now? Most probably not. No regret, no turning back, no heartfeeling. Nothing.

[Did you think that I would cry
On the phone?
Do you know what it feels like
Being alone?
I'll find someone NEW

Swing, swing, swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again?]

Inspired by a song from The All-American Rejects - Swing Swing. 

Image from http://susiebright.blogs.com/

1Malaysia F1 Team @ Lotus F1 Team

Whew, I am astounded when I first read the news. Suddenly the news come out and for me it is something out of the blue because I am not aware that a Malaysian team has submit an entry to join F1 race next year, and has been accepted in the 13th grid, the last confirm list for the team entry. (The 14th will be reserved to BMW-Sauber team).Click Here

According to www.formula1.com, the team name is Lotus F1 Team, owned by 1Malaysia F1 Team Sdn Bhd and will be lead by Tony Fernandes (Founder of Malaysian-based Tune Group. This team is a joint venture of Malaysian Government and private sectors in Malaysia. Mike Gascoyne will be the Technical Director with his vast experience in motor racing previously working with Jordan, Renault, Toyota, Spyker and most recently Force India. The car will be powered by Cosworth engine and the team will be based in Norfolk, some 10 miles from the Lotus Cars factory in Eastern England. The drivers are not yet finalised but they have already shorlisted few people to drive the cars, local and international drivers.

 

Image from TheStar.com.my

Enough of the data, I think you guys can read from the news portal or from newspaper tomorrow onwards. I am still quite shock and at the same time excited because there will be a Malaysian team competing in one of the most expensive sports in the world. I had goosebumps when I watched Alex Yoong claims the chequered flag for the first time in A1 GP few years ago. And to watch the Malaysian team in F1 is very interesting indeed. 

Some might says this is absurd. To pour the hard earned cash in this sporting events is such a waste of money. (Remember the issues of sending the astronaut??) There will be lots of people will disagree with this move and will highlight that we can do more with the money to improve the living of the Malaysian than to put our name in the F1 map. Sure, this sports cost a bomb, and even the big companies like BMW and HONDA had pull off from the competition because they can't sustain the cost to survive in this game. And there will be a debate about how good we can perform in this unfamiliar game and can we compete with the top guns.

For me, this move is nothing but a wise move. It may sound absurd but remember when Tun Mahathir launch the idea of having our own world class F1 circuit? It was a very absurd idea also but it is now known as a masterpiece. We must think the unthinkable and do the absurd thing if we want to breaktrough from the norm and achieve great things. By having the right person in charge, which is for me Tony Fernandez is the right person to lead this team we are confident this team will scale the new height. We Malaysian loves to be pesimistic, often look on the negative aspects FIRST before we think about the positive one. With this mentality I am sure we won't go far. So lets pray this project will be successful and maybe we can see our own Jazeman or Fairuz Fauzi on the podium!

(Oh anyway, the design is quite out, maybe it is just a prototype or for souvenir purpose, but if that design vrooming on the circuit, I won't have any problem to cheer them on and proudly says it is our car)

I want to hear from you, please drop your comments!!

Source from:

• http://www.thestar.com.my/ 
• http://paultan.org/ 
• http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/
• http://www.enginelounge.com
• http://www.formula1.com/
  

Nothing much to say..

Hello there! How are you doing? Waiting for my new post? I'm pretty mess up right now. I have nothing much to put in here also. I am not poetic neither artistic, so without a good story, I am nothing actually. And here I am without anything to tell. Actually I have been writing an entry, which I been writing for quite sometimes, since early August yet I just can’t finish it. I’ll try to find the will the finish it anyway. A sneak peak: it’s a story about me and the girl I’m chasing after, but because we have an issue unresolved right now, so I put the story to bed first.



‘Meter’ directed by Lim Benji starring Khairy Jamaluddin (KJ), Amber Chia, Jason Lo, Baki Zainal, Matthew George and Namewee.

I can’t recall where I encounter this film first, yet after I watched it I found it interesting. This is one of those short film from ’15Malaysia’ (http://www.15malaysia.com) Click the link and found out yourself how these brilliant filmmakers portray Malaysia from their point of view. I have already watch Chocolate by Yasmin Ahmad and Potong Saga by Ho Yuhang. I can’t help but to admire their creativity and talent in giving us simple yet meaningful definition of Malaysia. High on my list are James Lee and Amir Muhammad arts. I’m still downloading though; hope can watch it real soon and share with you guys. Anyway, back to the film above, what make it interesting is the guest star is none other than our infamous KJ, he surely can act, which make me rather uncomfortable being lead by him (Sapela pandai-pandai undi dia). No doubt about that and he is talking about something related to him (FAM anyone?) which I found rather amusing. And the one that make me still awake now is the ending of the film. What is the director tries to convey? By putting KJ and the Kris? Giving away because he has more at his disposal? Think people think and don’t forget to drop your comments. Let’s discuss.

Anyway, this is my first attempt to blog like others blog. Before this my entry is like essay for final exam, but now I want to post something that is very fresh and where people can relate to. The most important thing is the reader can finish reading in less than 10 minutes. Hehe. But I will still write long-long winded story if I have the story because I love giving out details! See you later guys!

Sadly You Are Not Mine Anymore....

Hi everybody? How’s life treating you? Like shit?? Well honey, I don’t want to sound cliché, but that’s life. Hehe. Anyway, this entry is about my former girlfriend, who was celebrating her birthday on 28 July (yesterday). I meant to write it yesterday but maybe not in the mood yet, maybe. Just wanted to be fair because I never write a word about her in this blog during my time with her, not because she is not that special but my time with her was very wonderful I don’t know how to put in words. =]

I knew her around the month of April 2008, we texted each other. Actually, I don’t really like her at the first place. We were only friend, yet she always bugged me to reply her message and the most annoying thing she did was calling early in the morning and woke me up, when I usually just had my sleep (I usually start sleeping after Subuh during that time). She is so annoying that I decided to stop contacting her, not once but twice! But she managed to sneak back to my life, with her charm of course.

After being friend for some times, the feelings started to creep in. I was single and started to feel comfortable with her. To my surprise, I was addicted to her. I am addicted to things that she does to me, the one I feel annoyed early one. I think she is just plain sweet and I want to be with her. So I proposed to her on 18th June 2008 and she accepts it. We were an item since that =].

I was on my holiday and she was just finishing her study. We were so free of anything and we often meet up at that time. We went to Penang and Sungai Petani, watching movies, eat together, have fun, laugh, sing. We were so happy! I was on cloud nine, I love her so much and I don’t have to ask her to know that she felt the same way too. Sometimes we had some fights, but we managed to get through it all. Even though we had some differences in certain issues but we often try our best to compliment each other. I was in love before, but her love for me seems so pure, so strong that I rarely have a doubt on us. I brought her back to my house to meet my family on ‘Hari Raya’ and yes, my family was so happy with my choice. Everything seems to be going on very fine. =]

The problems start to surface when she got a job in Putrajaya and I started to become quite busy because of my involvement in student activities in the university. We were far, at first we can cope, but after some times, she appears unable to tolerate my busy schedule. She demanded to be treated like before, like early in our relationship where we can text each other from morning until midnight, where I can spend the rest of my day sharing our feeling together. It’s getting impossible because of our circumstances, it’s not I don’t want to do it, but because I can’t do it. I don’t blame you honey, I know how you feel. I know how girls want to be treated but I begged you to stay with me, to bear with me, share the good and oh-not-so good moments.

We fought quite a lot, the words ‘break-up’ were frequent, and we seem divided. But I tried my best to bring back the happiness, the sweetness of our love. I do all I can and never wanted to surrender; I have made my decision and will stick with it. I want her to be my WIFE. Then lightning struck, when one day there was an accident where she knew I betrayed her. True, I betray her trust, definitely my fault, my biggest fault, my only fault and I deeply regretted it. FYI, it’s between us only and doesn’t involve any party. This was between us and I admitted it was my fault. She didn’t take it lightly, just like I expected. She was upset and very angry with me. I apologized, she said she can forgive me but never forget what I did to her. =[

Since that moment, even though we were still couple, her treatment towards me started to deteriorate. Hardly reply my message or return my call. Started to call me names or ‘awak –saya’ rather than what we used to call each other. I was so heartbroken, so sad but I understand she was devastated on what I did to him and she needs time. I go along with her, try to win her heart back, do everything I can do to make sure I don’t lose my future wife. At the same time, I was struck with heavy fever for about 2-weeks and I feel so sad because she wasn’t there for me, I was alone. She knew I was so sick yet she treated me like I am nobody to her. I know it was my fault, but I just hope she can forgive me and back to me when I really needed her love, care and attention.

So after 2 weeks, she was still like that, or I can say her treatment towards me getting worse. So I decided to throw my final dice. I arranged for a bouquet of red flowers to be delivered to her office with a card saying ‘I’m deeply sorry, I need you’. And I said to myself ‘this is it, if she’s not okay after this effort I will stop trying’. I was so sick at the moment that I can barely go to class. On the day she is about to receive the flower, I received a message from her saying ‘saya rasa saya dah tak sayang awak lagi la’. I was so sad, nearly broke in tears in my moral class after receiving that message. How could she say that? She did receive the flower but her response was ‘benda yang awak hantar dah sampai, kenapa awak buat camnie?’ and I am out of my words to tell you my feelings at that moment.

So after that, I have decided to let her go. I know she still loves me but for her, her ego conquers all and she rather lose me than lowering her ego. When I say ‘we are breaking up’ she said ‘okay’ and that’s it, everything is gone. I was admitted to Hospital Jitra after that, I was carrying dengue fever for all the while and painfully suffering it on my own without the one I love.

So now, she is happy with her life. Got a brand new boyfriend after 2-3 days we broke up. Later she confessed to me that she simply accept that proposal just to make me suffer even more. Astonishingly she wants me back but after I asked what she will do to her current boyfriend, she has no answer for that. Even though my heart is craving for her and my love towards her is undeterred, I told her ‘you have broken my heart, make me suffer, so let it only be me who is suffering, you don’t have to include him in this story, just stay with him and forget me please, we should be fine’.

So that is, my story and her. I promised her when we were together ‘I Love You, and will always do’. I stick to my words because I still love her. But I just laid it to rest and hopefully it won’t affect my life that much. I don’t know how many times I weep my tears while writing this entry but actually it doesn’t as bad as when I was trying to forget her (I’m a major weeper!). Now it is almost 5 month since we go separate ways and I’m trying to enjoy my life. I think I do well. Hehe.

For Azah, thanks for the care, the love, the attention, everything I have never feel before. You have brought to the moon; we enjoy our time before you let me fall on earth with unexplainable pain. You have shown me how it feels to love and to be loved and I will never ever forget you, ever. So on this pleasant day, I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday, even though I don’t call or text you but I want you to know that there is never a day in my life without reminiscing your smile that once I own..

So, thanks for your time reading this, I know it is rather very long and I bet not so many people will spend their precious time reading this crap. Please drop your comment if possible, I really appreciate it. Thanks.

.....an evening in BALI!

It seems ages since I last post an entry. And I think I have lost some (or all!) my avid readers. Thousands and millions apologize for all of you. I hope I will find the passion to write again after this. Thanks for all the supports so far okay. Now I will try to narrate my experience in Bali which I pay a visit recently for a convention organized by UUM. (It’s getting boring Udin, spice it up!)

Allow me to skip the first day of us there. Because it was rather plain and nothing. Kinda cliche if i write it out here. So the fun started on the 2nd day there and our last evening there before jetting back to Malaysia. On that afternoon, we were given time to 'jalan-jalan' in Bali, mainly in Kuta area where we were situated.

The organizer plans to take all of us to one so-called shopping area in Bali where we can buy stuff. So they provide us with a bus and take us there. We were given about 3 hours to shop there. The place is not that big, and I personally was not satisfied with that place. But I still spent quite lots of money there, just buying shirts and dresses for all my 'anak-anak' (nieces and nephews la!'. I am so happy that for the 1st time i managed to buy attires to all my 7 nieces and nephews. What an achievement. Hehe. After spending some time and money there, we went back to our hotel and this is where the fun begun!

Most of us decided that it was not enough and planning to go out again. And this time on our own. We went out again, walking in a big group. Some of us wanted to eat, but some clearly not interested to eat. I rather hungry than spending my precious and limited time to search for food stall (then doubting to eat the food). After walking without direction for a while, some of us decided it was too tiring to walk and decided to go back to hotel. Astalavista bebeh, don't you know it is very hard to be there yet you were complaining of tiredness? So now our group become smaller and have one thing in mind, DISCOVER BALI NIGHTLIFE!!

Not what I expected actually. When the clock hits 11 P.M, the street getting quieter and most of the shops, bars and stalls were closing down. A far cry from another Asean tourist attraction, Phuket where the night life is rather 5 times more happening than Bali. Okay, back to our story. After sheltering from raining in a bar where we drinks Fanta for 9 000 Rupiah = Rm 3 (we paid 10 000 Rupiah, keep the change) we began strolling down the street. I was wondering, "where are we heading". Then suddenly "massage jom!" followed by "jom!!!" from all of us. Hehe. We found one massage center and we entered. It was enjoyable experience to get massage from Bali. It is so cheap. As you may see, we were enjoying the massage and worry not, the 'tukang picit' are men. Hehe.




After massaging, our feet feel so light and we were ready to walk thousand miles again. Not far from that is the famous Kuta Beach where Asean surfer hone their talent of surfing there. The beach is very beautiful. Actually we saw something very shocking and new for us there. We were so focus on the event until we forgot to snap a picture. That was an eye opening for me, really. After that, we end up in front of the famous Hard Rock Cafe Bali and frantically snapping for photos. Let me share some of it.


We arrived in our hotel at about 3.30 A.M and we sleep with a smile on oor face. What an experience!