Sunday, August 8, 2010

Soy Un Perdedor

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me.

I haven't been updating my blog for a while. No entry at all for July. It was a hectic month and a sad one as well, so I better keep it to myself that than whining it up here.

I'm now back in Penang for my last year of degree. Back to basic, back to the old college, climbing up and down the hills just to get to the class. No complain though as Penang is much better than UUM, travel wise an yeah, it is much closer to my home.

So back to the title, loser eh? It is not the first time I feel this but it has been stronger for the past few weeks. It all started when we had a dinner in our lecturer's house, like a homecoming dinner for us after spending 2 years in UUM. So she wanted to know our updates, what we are up to and the favorite question, single or in relationship. so we take turns to tell our updates where I realized most of my classmate has found their love when we were in UUM. And when it comes to me, well my answer will be 'still single and looking for trouble'. It was a pretty sad thing to tell to be honest.

I predicted earlier on that, when I come back to Penang, I will start looking for love, like I used to. But after a month here I realized, I don't have the urge to do that anymore.  And when I see some of my friends already going out with someone here, I feel like a loser. But the truth is I don't go for it like them. I really feel like now I don't have to have someone special yet. Why? Because it is not necessary and I have to admit here, I'm a commitment freak. I can't be in a relationship for now. I am definitely not ready for it. Financial wise, period.

And yes, after you have to stop loving someone you love the most, you definitely don't feel like taking another chance with others right? Not now.

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