……………….i miss you love………………………….

……………….i miss you love………………………….

It is 5.30 in the morning and I’m still awake, still fresh. I couldn’t sleep. I just finished watching a semi-love drama and it is lovely. I felt happy after watching it, just for the couple of minutes before feeling sad until now. Why I’m sad? Well, I still can’t figure it out. Maybe because I’m quite lonely, jeez, don’t really like to admit it. But maybe I’m still saddened by the way she cheated on me. It’s painful, leave a big mark and I can’t forget it, even a bit.

How’s my life going out? Pretty busy, or should I say I make myself look busy so I don’t feel the way I feel right now that I don’t want to admit it. Hehe. Meet a couple of new friends, but my heart is still craving for more. There is still a big hole waiting to be filled. OMG, I don’t know what I’m writing write now. Udin, you sound so desperate, eooww!!!

Why oh why I try so hard to contact the people that used to shine my life but not around anymore? Err, they are not dead, but somehow, lose contact or should I say, I let them go before because of my STUPIDITY and EGO! Niera, Esther, Farah…. Just to name a few. I let them go away from me because at that moment, I never realise how much I need them, how priceless they are. How well and nice they treated me, but I never appreciate when they were around. Now they are gone, and I’m looking every single corner for them. How stupid was I, am I. I was so egoistic, so selfish. It is human nature, I always said this, ‘we always want what we can’t have, and never appreciate what we have at our disposal’. I always said this, but still can’t throw that bad habit away; after all, I am a human being right? Hehe. Lame excuse, Udin.

I miss her, d*mn miss her. Latest news about Intan, she messaged `Ulyani, her friend and mine about a month ago, with a new number of course, that’s her trademark. But unfortunately, this girl failed to reply to that SMS because she didn’t have enough credit. And when I got the number, that number can’t be contacted anymore. I’m so sad, because once again I lost track on her. Everyday, I wish that she will contact me. I pay serious attentions to unknown number that call or missed call me because I’m hoping that those calls or SMSes might be from her. I wish. My classmate played me once, she missed calls me a lot of time, and I was hoping that was Intan. And after I learned that those calls were from her, not from Intan, I was dejected. I even dreamt that those missed calls were from Intan, and when I awake, I checked my phone, and there was nothing. Come on Udin, get over her. It’s been 3 years since she left you, but you still hoping for her. You are a sore loser.

Still, I want to see her, my last attempt is to go to Bandung, where she study, meet her and talk to her in person. Hopefully I get what I want. Please pray for me, so I can go there and meet her, and talk to her. I miss you love……………………..